i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
