He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
