these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
