I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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