Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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