The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
