I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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