I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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