its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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