the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
