you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
