the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
