So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
