i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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