some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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