I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
MIDGETS
????
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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