also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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