Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The air was thick with penises
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
