The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
