He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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