just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize