God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
