He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
