how can u be prego again
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
