I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
