she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
