i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
bring money and cleavage
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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