Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
