just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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