I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
