Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
