every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
