i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
