had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
