This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
