i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
