My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like a drive thru vagina
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
