Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
