Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
