so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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