Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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