god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize