spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
