white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
