guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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