The maid of honor just puked.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
