would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
