When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
