So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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