Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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