dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
