You just made me feel so damn special
honey bunches of taint.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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