If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
