I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
