Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize