Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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