i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
