You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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