I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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