u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
