I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize