someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
