my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
