Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The adults are the big ones right?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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